Lessons in Spanglish

At the restaurant, while I have yet to perfect the art of butchering meat, I have become quite adept at butchering the Spanish language.

As I mentioned in an earlier post (on my former workplace), there are a lot of Spanish-speaking workers in the restaurant industry and my current restaurant is no exception.  Aside from myself, the head chef, and sous chef, everyone working in our kitchen is Hispanic, and their English ability ranges from relatively fluent to pretty much non-existent.

Regrettably, my own Spanish-speaking ability is pretty much non-existent, so I'm starting from scratch when it comes to understanding even the most elementary of words, like puerta (door), papel (paper), and veinticinco (25). 

That said, the walk-in refrigerator has proven to be a good starting point for learning as our labels are written predominantly in Spanish.  So when I'm looking for beets, I now know to look for the container labeled Remolacha.  And when I need to find the sautéed mushrooms, I go straight for Hongos.  And it continues on from there.  Ajo.  Papas fritas.  Pan de Maiz...  

Equally as educating have been the labels not written in Spanish, but poorly spelled English.  Donas (donuts).  Cokies for Sandys (cookies for sundaes).  Aples (apples).  Seleray (celery).  Cherry Drassing (sherry dressing).  And my personal favorite - Cot Cheese (goat cheese).

In addition to random words, I have managed to pick up a handful of useful Spanish phrases that seem to get me through the day - all related to the kitchen of course.  Ask me about the weather or how many siblings I have and I may respond with a blank stare.  But ask me "Donde estan los guantes?" and I will gladly reply "Arriba, en la otra cocina!"

And then there are those phrases that I have learned out of sheer survival:

Cuidado!  

Muy caliente! 

Necesito ayuda!   

But as important as these have proven to be, the phrase I probably use most often is...

No bueno.

Because, sadly, things tend to go wrong more often than is ideal, and when they do, I always know how to respond appropriately.

The food processor blade is broken.  No bueno!

We don't have enough breading for the risotto fritters.  No bueno!

This pasta dough is too wet.  No bueno!

There is too much stuff on the prep list today.  No bueno!

Someone spilled oil on the floor.  No bueno!

The poaching liquid for the Italian sausages is boiling and their casings have split open.  No bueno!

I just sliced my thumb open.  Ahhhhhh... No bueno!

On the other hand, when things go well, the response is usually something like...

Perfecto!  

Mucho professional!  

Delicioso!  

And that's about the extent of my progress thus far.  Most of the time I end up communicating in a random string of English and Spanish words that leaves me sounding like some primitive caveman.  Sorry, I'm mucho busy right now.  Me no tiempo to help you con your problema, comprende?

But hey, nobody ever said you had to be articulate to cook.  And ultimately it doesn't really matter what language is spoken in the kitchen as long as the food speaks for itself... ¿No? 

oo,